Oh, it's just me, fretting over my frankle

by Tracy Beckerman - Lost in Suburbia

Tuesday January 06, 2009, 11:58 AM

"I think I sprained my frankle," I said to my husband.

"Excuse me?" he responded.

"My frankle," I repeated. "I think I sprained it when I was working out."
He looked at me in complete confusion.

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My Holiday Newsletter, 2008 Greetings Friends and Family!

by Lost in Suburbia by Tracy Beckerman

Tuesday December 23, 2008, 2:40 PM

Greetings, Friends and Family!

I can't believe a whole year has gone by since our last holiday newsletter. What a wonderful year it was. I don't know about you but we certainly packed a lot in.

The kids are doing great. It's pretty much the same old same old: Listening to their Ipods, texting their friends, helping orphans around the world.

This year our 11-year-old daughter discovered she had a hidden talent for fashion. On a whim, she sent a few of her designs to the first lady-elect who picked two of the dresses for her daughters to wear at the presidential inauguration. We couldn't be more proud! Of course, we all know that there are more important things in this economy than fashion. That's why our daughter will be traveling down to DC in a prototype car using a renewable energy resource that she discovered on a Buddhist trek for tweens in Tibet this past summer. So exciting!

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Chatham's 'give-back' is a model for others

by Michael J. Kelly

Monday December 22, 2008, 10:14 AM

The first thing that needs to be said is, "Thank you."

"Thank you," to the administrators in the School District of the Chathams who, in the middle of a multi-year contract, voluntarily announced last week that they would give back a portion of next year's negotiated pay raises.

In the words of Elementary School Principal Ralph Pesepane who is also president of the Chatham Administrators and Supervisors Association (CASA), "We are so appreciative of the support they have given to us over the years and we know the situation is difficult for many families in town, so we just wanted to do our part."

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And today's special is....influenza

by Tracy Beckerman/Lost in Suburbia

Tuesday December 16, 2008, 1:16 PM

Although some people are uncomfortable going out to a restaurant by themselves, I am perfectly fine with dining alone.

Honestly, with the level of pandemonium in my house on a regular basis, I am happy to have a quiet meal by myself every once in awhile. I don't ask myself to get up and get some more water, I don't typically spill food across the table on myself, and I don't tell myself revolting stories while I eat. It actually makes for a refreshing change of pace.

But one day while I was out to lunch, I noticed a woman and a child of about six or seven eating at the table next to me. He was being a little rambunctious, and she smiled apologetically.

"No school today?" I asked her warmly.

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Overcrowding. A tragedy waiting to happen

by Michael J. Kelly

Monday December 15, 2008, 2:14 PM

The City of Summit got a potentially fatal wake-up call last week. The question is, 'Did anyone open their eyes and answer?'

The warning came in the form of a mid-afternoon house fire at 26 Walnut Street that evicted at least 37 people, ranging in age from infants to senior citizens. The exact number of tenants is hard to determine -- fire investigators had one head count, the Red Cross had another, and unconfirmed reports indicated some occupants were away when the blaze occurred and never returned to the scene, while others have since dispersed
.
Summit's humanitarian response was swift and overwhelming. The Red Cross quickly got the victims fed and out of the frigid cold. Calvary Church hosted an emergency shelter for the night. The Junior League Thrift Shop provided clothing for the victims, some of whom were forced from their home in bare feet or wearing only flip-flops. Restaurants provided food. A local taxi service provided free transportation. An e-mail plea for donations was so successful that it had to be terminated before the end of the week -- at least in terms of providing immediate help.

But at week's end, a disturbing number of questions were still unanswered:

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Christmas lights: A plea for the do-it-yourself job

by Pat Kelley/This on that

Wednesday December 10, 2008, 11:23 AM

In the beginning, there were lights. We put them up ourselves and it was good.

Driving through my town last week I saw a truck for a company that designs and puts up outdoor Christmas decorations at private homes.

Come on. When did a wreath on the door get to be a designer event?

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The case of the freaky fish

by Tracy Beckerman/Lost in Suburbia

Tuesday December 09, 2008, 1:16 PM

Our fish is a freak and our dog is a stalker.

First, the fish.

Several months ago, my son bought this sorry-looking goldfish home from a street fair. I fully expected the thing to be belly-up in a matter of hours, but it defied the goldfish odds and has now become a resident of the Beckerman Zoo. After the first week, I admitted he was in it for the long haul and I moved him out of the orange juice pitcher he called home into an actual fish bowl.

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That mean old appliance guy

by TRACY BECKERMAN/Lost in Suburbia

Tuesday December 02, 2008, 2:21 PM

When I went to the appliance store to get a new vacuum cleaner, I thought the biggest issue was going to be whether to get a canister or an upright, not whether to deck or throttle the store employee.

Actually, buying the vacuum was the easy part. Picking it up was another story. I went to the pick-up counter and saw that there were a bunch of people on an incredibly slow-moving line, and only one guy at the pick-up window. Pick-up window guy looked like he was older than King Tut and was moving in slow motion...which would probably explain the incredibly slow-moving line.

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Take part in Audubon Christmas Bird Gount at the Great Swamp

by Staff/Independent Press

Friday November 28, 2008, 2:08 PM

AREA -- On Saturday, Dec. 20, the 109th Annual Audubon Christmas Bird Count will be held throughout the nation.

Data from the event is used to help scientists understand how birds are faring from year-to-year and aids in conservation efforts.

Pete Axelrod is organizing nine teams, three teams will do the bird count at Great Swamp National Wildlife Refuge. This is an opportunity to explore all areas of the refuge. There is a $5 fee per person that is used to collect and publish the data.

Everyone interested can participate in this event. Beginning birders are encouraged to participate and will be part of a group with experienced birders.

If interested in joining a team or getting more information, contact Pete Axelrod at 908-660-4609 or 908-347-2308 or by email at paxel55@hotmail.com .

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Don't let the turkeys get you down

by Tracy Beckerman/Lost in Suburbia

Tuesday November 25, 2008, 11:51 AM

"Congratulations!" boomed the checkout girl in the supermarket aisle as she handed me my receipt. "You qualify for a free turkey!"

I looked down at the piece of paper and saw that I had spent enough at the market in the past two months to earn myself a free turkey. Truthfully, with the amount I spent, I should have gotten a cow, a goat and a whole coop of chickens for free.

"Go get your turkey!" she said gleefully. I looked at the long line of impatient customers behind me.

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All hail the Laundry Queen

by TRACY BECKERMAN/Lost in Suburbia

Wednesday November 19, 2008, 9:47 AM

There are some moms who are known to be really good cooks, or good bakers, or have a great sense of style or design.

I am not one of them.

Apparently, what I am really good at is laundry.

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Connecting the dots... between the lines

by Tracy Beckerman/Lost in Suburbia

Wednesday November 12, 2008, 11:08 AM

One morning I got up, looked in the mirror, and saw a constellation on my face.

There it was, the Big Dipper of zits: one on my nose, two on my chin and two on my cheek. Connect the dots and you got a saucepan.

"Augh!" I groaned to my husband. "Look at my face. I have pimples in the shape of the Big Dipper."

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Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater

by Tracy Beckerman/Lost in Suburbia/Independent Press

Wednesday November 05, 2008, 1:49 PM

"The squirrels ate my pumpkins," I moaned to my husband.

"Is that a secret code for something?" he wondered.

"No! I had a whole bunch of pumpkins on the front stoop and the squirrels massacred them. Look!"

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Howl-o-ween, when devil dogs prowl

by Tracy Beckerman/Lost in Suburbia/Independent Press

Wednesday October 29, 2008, 9:41 AM

During October, I will go out of my way to avoid taking my kids into drug stores, party stores and anyplace else where they will be selling Halloween costumes and accessories, for fear of the Halloween frenzy that will ensue. But one day, I made a critical error: I took my daughter into the pet shop.

"Ooh, look, Mom...dog costumes for Halloween! Can we get one for Riley?" she pleaded as she ogled the display of cute canine costumes. "Then we can dress him up and take him trick or treating with us."

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Clan of the Cave Cricket' at my house

by Tracy Beckerman/Lost in Suburbia/Independent Press

Wednesday October 22, 2008, 11:17 AM

I have two children, and four pets, three of which are ambulatory and one that swims. With all these beings roaming my house, I've gotten used to someone or something suddenly leaping out at me from behind a wall, door or sofa. What I am not used to is when something leaps out at me that is not any of them.
Recently on my way down to the basement with a big basket of laundry, something jumped out from under the stairs that was definitely a member of the insect family and therefore not one of our pets or my children.

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